Illusions

Have I ever been

the reflection
of what you have wanted

Has your heart

skipped a beat

when it met my eyes

Do you feel that

I have been more

than just something

to pass the time

I have heard from

the lips of others

that I am not

what you have wanted

not your desire

not your dream

not your loves design

and I can't breathe

How has this happened,

that I have been

led astray

Wishful thinking

with stars in my eyes

perhaps

dazzled by my dreams

of the perfect life

I suppose

that you have secrets

wishes of someone

that will make you whole

Since I am not she

free me from my bondage

for the love that you

have left me to taste

is bittersweet

So I pray

from the deepness of my soul

for the answers I seek

for the clarity in love

so that I might know

that I am loved

how I should be

without pretense

or reservation

to be loved without

wearing a mask

so that I am not

just a figment

an illusion of your perfection

that I am not

I wish for my tears to stop

and for joy to come to me

and lift this veil

with the hand of someone

who wants me

as much as I want them

Fear Me Roar

Today there has been much talk. People in panic mode scurrying around trying to make sense of their loveless and unfulfilling lives. It would seem to many that the world is crashing down. So many changes, crises, hurtful people, hurtful words, murder...you name it. Things have definitely gone askew. The full moon, no doubt, just loved having its crafty little hand in there stirring the pot. I am sure that this has not helped matters in the least.

So why all this fear? What are we so afraid of? That things won't "go our way"? That , *gasp*, we might have to have a little self control and actually have to make choices that require restraint? What has all of this excess gotten us? We are spiritually poorer than we have ever been in history. People are consumed only by what makes them "feel good" and not about the things can make us truly happy. Gee, what will that face-lifted, tummy-tucked, botoxed princess do if she actually has to do the laundry, fire the maid and nanny, cancel the trip to see her pomeranian get a pedicure in Borneo, and possibly ...get ready...have to...I can't say it...do without?

Is that what we're really afraid of?

Not being able to satisfy what we want, when we want it?

Like the man who nearly ran over a lady in the grocery store because he actually had to walk back in the same direction that he had come from to get some fresh mozarella, shouting that it was F*ing ludicrous that he actually had to ...possibly...get this...get it himself?

Why are we allowing this selfishness?

The arrogance?

The inability to do things for oneself?

One word sums it up...fear.

Just what would happen if we were not the end all be all? Not number one for a change? If we didn't have the biggest house or the nicest car? Or were the most popular? Or the most Barbielicious (that refers to the aforementioned gal that has had so much work done that it even would make Barbie cry)? What if we had to be self sufficient?

Things are changing. And, we will have to adapt. We will have no choice.

Open your hearts to love and let all of the fear crap go. Be done with it! We're really suffering because of it!

There, I'm done...thanks for listening!

Enough

Today I have declared to the Universe that I have had enough...of everything. Enough stress, enough unrest, lack of direction, feelings of helplessness to change my life around. I have simply had enough. I know that it is the higher powers that be trying to show me that I have spent my energy on things that do not truly satisfy me for way too long. I know that it's giving me that "gentle" (not so much) push to make a decision of where I would like my life to go. I realize that I have been sustaining this existence on what other people want and expect of me.

Even with all of my realizations, and things that I think that I know...I am still stuck. Frustrated that I have not found my answer. Angry that I am not where I would like to be. Tired of giving, giving and giving some more. Stymied by the fact that I have let myself be brainwashed into thinking that the conventional way was the only way. Burdened by the responsibility of changing, but without the arrow to point my way, I stand still.

I would like for my time to be now. I have prepared the way. I have done my duty. I have been the good soldier. I have fought all the battles and survived the wars. The scars are evident to all who know my at a deeper level.

I am praying for the breakthrough.

Frevently, on my knees.

Hands folded, eyes uplifted.

It is my turn this time. No compromises.

I am through with those.

I have had enough.

I Have Traveled the Heavens to Find You

I have traveled eternity to find you

through the heavens and the stars

Wandering from galaxy to galaxy

only to catch a glimpse of your face

Have you no regard for one

who loves you so?

No endearment to the one

who would traverse heaven and hell

only to be with you

You beguile me with your laughter

as you glide away on a new adventure

far from home in a land unknown

Has this fulfilled your desires?

Take the ribbon from your hair

and unravel the strands of time

that pass between us

for I am weak in your absence

Shall I wander as this lost soul forever?

Look to me, in the night sky

lift your glorious face to me

cast your gaze on the one who loves you

I am here waiting for you

I have searched the heavens

through Andromeda and Pleiades

chatting only with Venus along the way

hoping for some sage advice

Will you wait for me

as I prepare your hearts desire?

Do not run any longer

for you are where you need to be



Do not turn away
for I love you

Stay with me
forever
my love
you are
home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poem by Kasia, September 2008
The angel photo is a stock image that I found while looking up the Pleiades. Never forget that there are angles all around us lifting us up to the heavens when the world becomes too much to bear.