Hasn't everyone felt stuck sometimes? Just stuck in place, being held down by some unknown otherworldly force? Every threat or promise of success and happiness, thwarted by all those mysterious forces lurking behind the scenes?
It's what I call "The Ick"...it's the place that all of us creative individuals go to when you really want to create and you can't. Why, you ask does this happen? Well...self doubt, we're tired, too much stress, realtionship crap, the universe has a conspiracy plot against us and we don't know it yet. It's really the virtual quagmire of forward movement.
Most of us have had "The Ick" from time to time, even if we are not creative or artsy. Most of us experience it in relationships. April 5th marks the one year anniversary of the begginning of my new life. The past year for me has been full of "kicking the Ick". Not creatively, but personally. I have had to get rid of all the crap that weighs me down...the negativity, self doubt, self criticisms, unrealistic expectations and most of all, the viewpoint that everything has to be perfect.
Now, mind you, I have not gotten rid of all of these things for good...the ick loves to bubble to the surface just to make your day just a little bighter. It's really a constant reminder that you are flawed, imperfect, too fat, too this, too that, too whatever, not good enough, blah, blah, blah. The inner voice of the ick can be very powerful, if you let it.
So, how do you "Kick the Ick"?
You stare it down.
You laugh in its face.
You flip it off.
You have a glass of wine with cheese (the ick is allergic to all things yummy).
You love yourself more.
You trust yourself more.
You take chances.
You move forward.
Sometimes, you do this blindly...with faith in the fact that "this too will pass"...because it will. It may not have the outcome that you expected, but it will pass...all things do. In its wake, you will find that things have changed, that you have discovered more about what you really want in life (not just what you are supposed to want), that life can be glorious even when you are hurting like hell, that your friends that are true will be there to smack you back into reality (even if it is with a gentle and caring hug).
At the end of this you will have started to discover your real self...the beautiful, giving, caring, human self...ick scars and all.
The Ick needs you as much as you need it. (Isn't that something?). Move forward with love, courage, and faith that you are doing the right thing (even if it seems to contradict everything else that seems right).
You'll be happy that you did.